i feel like i have nothing exciting to write about

but i have the desire to write. even though i have nothing TO write. well i started this a couple night ago but then decided to give up and go to bed. i'll just finish and post it now. :)

i haven't posted in several days, so i'll quick write but i want to go to bed in THREE minutes! well i want to write about carving pumpkins. i carved a pumpkin with some extended family last week. carving pumpkins is such a stressful ordeal for me, because i am artistically handicapped and believe it or not, carving pumpkins requires artistic ability. at home, i would always lay out newspaper on the table under the pumpkin, but this time i didn't have that, and so i didn't have any way to sketch out a design before i started. well i ended up having my uncle trace a ghost. i decided to just like shave out the ghost shape, you know, like cool people do. i'd never done it before, but i wanted to be like the cool people. 

back to present time again. needless to say, the pumpkin didn't turn out as cool as i'd hoped. A) we can't have candles in my room so i had to light it with a glowstick, and it wasn't bright enough to shine through the ghost shape. B) we carved it so long ago, that now it is moldy inside and all slumped and decrepit looking. now i know why mom never let us carve the pumpkin until the very monday before halloween. right again. how does she do it? the world may never know.

i've had a boring week, which is sad since it is halloween week which is supposed to be full of parties. mostly i've sat at home. watching gilmore girls. i like gilmore girls, the characters are clever and witty and talk fast so it makes for fast paced humor and it just tickles my funny bone. and it's not super chick flick or anything, i dunno why more guys don't like it. 

i touched my toes in pilates today. yes, that was completely random. but other than that, i haven't accomplished much in the past few days. i feel lazy. and burned out. i think i'm permanently burned out. is that bad? probably. i wish i didn't stress out about everything all the time. i can't help it though. i always have a million things zooming around in my brain. i think that that is a large reason of why it takes me a good 25 minutes to fall asleep at night--no matter how sleep deprived i am. hmm... maybe i'm thinking about too much right now and that's why i can't think of something to write. i should do my reading for class tomorrow. 

my room has a lot of insects getting into it. i hate insects. watching gilmore girls today, i felt something on my sleeve so i went to pick it off, and in my fingers i realized it was a ladybug, and i flipped. ironic that my job right now is sorting insects out of river samples. those are different though, because they are dead. except yesterday, another person working with me realized that a fly in his dish was moving. it was way weird. we think it might have just flown into the dish, but like what are the odds of that?? i'd probably wet my pants if i came across a living bug in my sample.

well, i'm gonna call this good. maybe i'll do my reading now, and actually get to bed before midnight! .... here's to hoping.

3 in the morning rolls around...

i'm kind of getting sick of saying to myself "you should go to bed earlier". i'm ignoring myself just like i'd ignore my mom when she'd tell me that. now i know how my mom feels. weird. sorry about that mom. 

well tonight was fantastic. i went shopping with my friend, and i bought some christmas lights because i love love love christmas and can't wait for it to come. she told me i can't put them up until after thanksgiving though. maybe i'll twist her arm into a bit earlier. i also bought noodles and pasta sauce. so like maybe i'll have a real meal or something. or at least more real than i've been having lately. eating crappy and not sleeping haven't helped me get better at ALL. i've been coughing all night. i wish it would just go away, it's just annoying to me now. especially since all i can think every time i cough is "thanks (ex-boyfriend)". 

well after shopping, i went to my cousin's house and we watched oceans 13. i hadn't ever seen it before, but i highly recommend it! DEFINITELY better than the second one, and as high of quality if not higher than the first. and, as always, starring the fabulous brad pitt, matt damon, and george clooney. 3 of hollywood's finest, if i do say so myself. then we ran around town making movies, pretending to be ninjas, and playing with glo-sticks. yeah, we are that awesome. now i just have to figure out how to edit movies on my computer. i'm crossing my fingers that it will even work. i'd start it right now, but it's quarter to 4 and i have to be at a parade tomorrow morning at 10. huzzah for no sleep! :)

i hate waiting

do you ever feel like you are just waiting for your life? i do. maybe it's just my type A personality. but i am always looking so much into the future that i sometimes forget to enjoy the present. it's unfortunate. right now i am waiting for my biology test tomorrow morning. i wish i could just take it and get it over with so i can find out my score. and i'm waiting to find out how i did on the geology test last week that my TA didn't grade in time to get it back yesterday. one that i don't like to tell people: i'm waiting to fall in love. 

i hate that i keep coming back to love. i'm so SICK of love. the week before i moved up to school, my dad told my mom that he was leaving. his job at a prestigious university, the church we all belong to, and her. us. i really wasn't okay at first. i'm doing better. but i'm still not as okay as i want to be. i feel like i have serious baggage now. i'm a mess emotionally all the time. i wish i could just be normal and happy again. but at the same time, i don't think i'd be happy with him back. since my sophomore year of high school i knew that something was wrong, and i wasn't really happy then. but i guess this is worse. but i don't want to go back either.  so forward it is. even though it seriously sucks. and now falling in love just looks like the biggest risk you can ever take, and i don't want it to be that. i don't want to be left. but i want to fall in love. i want my happily ever after already. i'm just not sure whether or not it really exists.

double post! i'm that bored.

screw going to bed. i'm going to play more with this. 

Four jobs i've had:

1. student

2. lab technician

3.

4. (okay i'm pretty spoiled, and never had to work growing up)

Four movies i've watched more than once:

1. Hercules

2. aladdin

3. ice age

4. anastasia

Four places i have been:

1. Rome, Italy

2. Paris, France

3. London, England

4. New York City, New York

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Cookie dough

2. swedish fish

3. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

4. chicken and pasta

Four places i would like to visit:

1. switzerland (again) (it's my most favorite place on earth)

2. greenland

3. new zealand/australia

4. greece

Four things i am looking forward to in the coming year:

1. christmas (i love christmas)

2. doing ecology research

3. having fun/meeting new people

4. wow i really don't have anything i'm looking forward to. i should work on that.

i feel like a fool for thinking i was stronger than i really am

so i was dating this boy a few weeks back. he came down with a cold. he told me not to be too close, or that i would catch it from him. i informed him that i had an invincible immune system and wouldn't be susceptible to whatever he had. well, i've had this cold for about two weeks now, which is about how long it's been since i dumped said boy. i'm angry that i thought i was invincible. both for the illness and for him. i always dump the guys and then regret it and wish i could have them back. i'm doing better with this one. but it's hard not to think about him every once and a while. reminds me of aida. "all i have to do is pretend i never knew him on those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart". i love musicals. other aida lyrics ringing true to me these last few days "i shall not envy lovers but long for what they share. an empty room is merciless, don't be surprised if i confess i need some comfort there". amazing lyrics + fantastic harmonies = food to my soul. now i am really craving aida! but i need to go to bed. staying up until 4 in the morning isn't good for a weakened body. it takes it's toll. hopefully i don't die at my exercise class tomorrow morning. 

ps, comments on posts!! that means people read this!! weird.

did i take a step too far?

i saw aida this weekend at a theater back in my hometown. it was freaking amazing. like really. i cried. it's a fantastic show! that's where this blog's title comes from. i had an amazing weekend. hence not blogging this weekend. i went with my cousin to her hometown and played with all her friends, then came to my hometown and caught up with old friends... and ex's. it was just good to catch up with kids i haven't seen in several months. i saw wall-e finally. it's a pretty dang cute movie. i also went to my first haunted house ever. i'm such a wuss, i get scared so easily. i was way proud of how i did at this one though. okay, so there were parts where i had my eyes squeezed shut and just followed my date in front of me.

 you know while i was there, i was angry because the workers always walk past the guys and lunge at the girls. i was like what's up with that!?!? and the obvious answer is because they can't get the guys, it's the girls that scream. then i was thinking about it more, and i realized it is just a plot, because the workers know that the guys just brought the girls so that they would be scared and latch onto them!!! but then i was like okay, honestly, that's the only reason any girl would ever go too--is to have an excuse to latch onto a boy (we all know it was my reason) so i guess it's a toss. 

so i've been debating letting people know that i have a blog, so i can get some readers. but i'm still hesitant. but it just feels a little silly to be writing a blog that no one ever reads. oh well. 

i should be studying for my geology test tomorrow. hmmm. and sleeping. :)

you never realize how much you need it until it's gone...

usually this heartfelt phrase goes out to something more substantial than a TV/DVD remote. but tonight, that's all i'm good for. we don't have a remote for our TV/DVD player. and it is such a pain! it would be easier if the DVD player had some functions on it, but it doesn't. it's stop and play. i never realized how handy being able to pause or fast forward or rewind was. and then there's having to get up and walk over to the tv any time you want to change the volume or channel. when i was at walmart the other night, we found this "Universal remote" that is supposed to work with certain brands, and both our TV and DVD player happened to fit those brands! so i bought it. well it doesn't work. freaking rip off. we are going to try newer batteries in it, and see if maybe that helps it. but i'm pretty sure it won't. so we are back to having no remote, after having our hopes raised only to be dashed. 

i'm not too upset about it right now though, because tomorrow (Thursday) is Friday schedule, and then it's a long weekend! i get to go home and play with all my old friends. i am so excited. there are about 10 people i have planned to hang out with, really the people from high school that i care about. i'm very much looking forward to seeing them again, it's been since graduation for most of them. i think i'm going to go pack now, and then go to bed. that way i can get out of here tomorrow as soon as my last class is done!