Snow and newsies and hypochondria

it snowed today, pretty much all day. so my roommate and i went and played in it for a while, then came inside and watched newsies. it is such a fantastic movie. the boys in it are so beautiful. and i love the music! i really love music so much, i have decided. but today was just a good day overall, because my lesson in church went GREAT and everything just seemed like it fell into place all day. i had some more brownies and cookie dough, and i think tomorrow i might have to go without anything sugary/chocolate because it's just not good for me. i really should know better. 

in july i visited the doctor and he told me not to eat anymore chocolate. or dairy. only low fat. no gum, soda, caffeine, hard candy, and later he added high concentrated fructose. aka anything fun to eat. the reason is because my fluctuating levels of serotonin. serotonin modulates anger, moods, sleep, appetite, metabolism, and vomiting. well that is why i get migraines and stuff all the time. plus with the metabolism, serotonin affects peristalsis (muscle contraction) along the digestive tract, and so mine doesn't digest normally. my stomach has acid reflux and stuff because there's too much acid and the valve at the top doesn't close right. so i take anti acid pills. and i don't think my gallbladder releases properly, so fat doesn't digest right. and then the whole IBS thing with the colon not functioning right. so food hates me, a lot. i break the rules, but i feel it now. stress makes my body funky too, i can feel myself getting sick when i stress too much. and i certainly have been stressing too much lately. it wasn't until the start of august that i actually was following the diet and feeling good inside. but then things got stressful and now i don't have money or time to eat like i should. 

that's just the start of my health issues, too. i'm on birth control because i had an ovarian cyst rupture last summer, and it was so bad that i couldn't keep food down for over 24 hours. it's also a solution to my facial acne, which i've gone through proactive, differin, orthotricyclin and other medications without much results. i wear shoe inserts because i have over-extension in the first radial on both feet, and the extra movement has created bone spurs on the outside of my big toes. my skin doesn't tan; i am hopelessly white. i have varicose veins on my legs too. and my legs never stay smooth after i shave them! they are always prickly again within the hour. 

okay, i'm feeling whiny now. and i don't want to be whiny. so i'm gonna call it quits for today, so i don't get more whiny haha. i'll end on a positive note. 

there are only 74 days until christmas. :)